I have really dreaded coming back to this. Coming back means admitting I fell off the bandwagon.
Over the past month I've pretty much sucked. Hardcore yo. I gained back 4 or 5 pounds, last time I weighed myself it was 177 something, last Saturday. I've had a few good days this week. Got my workout on.
I did however just eat a pouch of muffins for dinner. But to my defense I brought one of those smart ones dinners, one I'd never tried before and it SUCKED so I had to get something out of the vending machine at work.
Anyway, let's start with Saturday. Saturday night I got Travis to babysit, so I actually got to leave my house. This is I think the third night this year I've actually gone out of the house after the kids went to sleep so I was pretty excited. I got pretty drunk, I know, sooo many calories in alcohol, and then to make things even worse I went to Denny's after and I the greasiest burger. It's okay though, I did a nice full body work out for two hours after I got home and promptly puked violently into the toilet afterwards so I'm pretty sure I ended up breaking even that night. In other news I'm pretty sure that burger was delicious and on Tuesday I found a drunk person selfie I took but don't remember doing. Kind of made me laugh.
Yesterday I was planning on working out, got way more of a workout than I'd planned. First I did my cleaning, not a huge deal, I have to clean my house on a daily basis because of the kids at least a little bit, put on some music and turn the ten minute pick up into a half hour dance festival, I think that's the only reason I didn't gain more weight this past month! But anyway. I was experimenting with some ways to work a workout into my every day stuff. So I was doing lunges as I ran the vacuum and squats and some booty shaking when I picked things up lol. Yes, it would of been humiliating for anyone else to watch.
But here's where shit got real. The house I'm renting had a fridge when I moved in, but I had my own fridge too. I knew I wouldn't be here forever and the landlord said he wasn't planning on replacing these if they went under, so I naturally decided to keep the fridge I already had. I moved it into the basement and used it as extra freezer space where I put my wok lunches and foods that I hoped to deter myself from eating by putting them in the basement lol.
Anyway, the fridge that was here started to smell like it was burning and was warm to the touch. It was still working, cold on the inside and all that, but I really wasn't in the mood for it to explode or something like that. So I asked Travis if he would help me bring the other one upstairs. Well, when he slept until 2pm this naturally led to a large argument and I ended up first scrubbing the shit out of the fridge in the basement, and then bringing everything from the fridge and freezer upstairs and into the basement to store in the one down stairs. Awfully annoying when I was trying to cook and had to travel downstairs for milk and butter to complete my meal. Literally a half hour after I've finished moving everything Travis texts me and says (only because I merely said I would have someone else help me) he'd be there in ten minutes to help me so I had to clear everything out of the fridge downstairs, bring everything back up stairs, and move the fridge and then put everything back in it.
I think I pinched something in my back. Needless to say the kids went to sleep a little early last night so I could go to sleep a little early, which of course never works out anyway but the effort was there and that matters.
Despite gaining some of my weight back I've actually been feeling pretty good about my body lately. Which is maybe a little odd. But I don't know, I guess I've gained some more confidence as my own person or something. Who knows. What I do know is I can still see my collarbones (not like super defined but whatever) even four pounds heavier I'm still 14 pounds less and that's a big deal, my hair lately has been awesome, I'm having a great butt day, I finished writing an entire book in less than a month (I've started dozens and this is only the second I've finished so superrr exciting) and of course, the eagles are running 3-0 so far. I guess I just feel like there are a lot of things going well right now in my life. My weight is not something that defines me, but don't get me wrong, it's still something I'm very serious about correcting because it does play a huge factor into what kind of future I will have and hold long my kids will have their mommy for. So here I am, four or five pounds heavier than I was a month ago and still feeling strong. I'm ready to fight, get back on the horse.
I actually enjoy working out once I do it, it's just getting started...
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